Welcome to Tigersue's Jungle. Here you may find a Jungle of thoughts and idea's. You may never know what you will find!
Yes, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! I am a wife, a mother, a sister, and a friend.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Life's turns.

Here I am home from church, nursing a sinus infection and an eye infection. I'm on the mend but with the headaches from the infection I have to crawl into bed every so often.

I wish this was all that was on my mind. It has been a very emotional couple of weeks for me. Heck I guess it has been an emotional couple of years, and I can't seem to adapt the way I used. Still the past couple of weeks have been so hard. I find I seem to have the ability to offend my friends. I know I do it often enough but it is hard enough to find out you did it without meaning too. I have yet to figure out how to repair friendships when that happens. No matter how hard and how often I can say I'm sorry, when time has passed for the other party I'm not sure it cuts it. Oh, it isn't that the friendship is over, but it is different. I'm more cautious, less apt to open up my soul particularly when they were once best friends. I don't know how to heal it, and I don't know how I can change something I did without knowing it, and certainly not intended the way it was taken.

So on top of one friendship being changed, I found out that the woman I have felt closest to in my ward has terminal cancer. I have cried daily for her, for me, and for her family. I don't even know if I will get the chance to see her again. With this illness I haven't even dared to go knock on the door. Then I'm afraid if I do see her all I will do is cry, and I don't want to do that. It is hard to know what to do. I have a gift for her, now I just have to figure out how to get it to her so she can enjoy it. It is times like this that my little illness is nothing compared to the suffering around me. It helps to keep me grounded and a little less in the self pity zone. (Even thought it may sound like it, I'm really trying not to be poor me.)

Like takes many turns, and this is one path I have been down the past little while. Next week it will be something different I'm sure.

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