Welcome to Tigersue's Jungle. Here you may find a Jungle of thoughts and idea's. You may never know what you will find!
Yes, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! I am a wife, a mother, a sister, and a friend.

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

I'm a Dr. Laura fan

The past few months I have been able to listen to Dr. Laura. I think she is fabulous. Of course I don't agree with everything she says, but on the whole I think she is right on target, and I'm trying, really trying to learn from her. I know I have a long way to go, and lots of pride to get rid of in the process. In the mean time she gets me thinking, and thinking a lot. One thing I have been pondering lately is a dual situation. Why do women not get along with their mother-in-law, or their daughter-in-law. It has got me thinking. Often we blame it on personality issues but when it comes down to it, we set each other up for failure. We look for failure in each other so we can throw it in their faces and not trust each other. It was a wake up call of sorts.

There were a couple of calls that got me thinking. Once was a daughter-in-law that was upset because her child got hurt while in the grandmother's care. Not terribly hurt, something that would happen to my children on a daily basis. You know the kind where you turn around to do something and the next thing you know you have a screaming kid. You give them a hug, a love, maybe clean up a scrape or a cut, use a band-aid even if one isn't needed and off they go and play. Instead, this woman was trying to make it a reason to never let her child's grandmother watch the little one again, ever. As Dr. Laura was getting more and more frustrated, trying to explain to this woman that her mother-in-law was not negligent, had apologized, that her child was fine it didn't seem to want to sink in. All she wanted was a reason to not trust her Mother-in-law, and limit the time her children spent with her. Eventually, Dr. Laura said something to the effect of, "She raised your husband and he turned out all right didn't he?" I thought that was rather poignant, you marry the man your mother-in-law raised and you can't trust her with your children? good point, yup, yup.

Then another caller, this time a mother-in-law, all worried about her son. Nothing was wrong in the marriage, but she didn't think her daughter-in-law could feed her son, love her son enough, and respect him enough. The mother-in-law was doing everything in her power to set up her daughter-in-law for failure. She didn't think anyone was capable of taking care of her son. Dr. Laura spent the rounds again, and finally said something to the effect of....
"She married him and will be taking care of your grandchildren, the same way you took care of your son."

Needless to say, I have been thinking, and grateful for my mother-in-law. She raised a fine son, and he is a wonderful husband and a wonderful father. Where did he learn it from? It had to be from them. They did something right and I am extremely grateful for that. She has never set me up for failure, has never been critical of my faults and failings. I can say the same about my mother, she has never set my husband up for failure, has always accepted them for who he is. I think we are blessed and lucky, two different mothers, two different approaches in how they have dealt with us, and we know we are loved by both. Yes I am lucky.

I'm going to continue to listen to Dr. Laura. Not because I want to correct other people, but because I hope to become a better person, maybe I can catch myself before I make further mistakes in life, or at lease prevent some of them along the way.

2 comments:

Kati said...

I find it very interesting that you start your post saying that you are trying to rid yourself of pride and then talk about the in-law situation. Most people wouldn't relate that as pride... As for me- I am working on the same thing in myself and so with all the study, I see that as pride also. I read a great article the other day- I would love it if you would read it and give me your insite on it. I need some ideas to get me moving in the right direction? Let me know if you want me to send it your way.

MomR said...

Thank you for the kind words.

My son married a good woman.