Welcome to Tigersue's Jungle. Here you may find a Jungle of thoughts and idea's. You may never know what you will find!
Yes, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! I am a wife, a mother, a sister, and a friend.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Remembering God's Love

I had some news yesterday that got me thinking, and pondering. I realized how precious and fragile a testimony truly is and how valuable listing to the Spirit should always be a priority in my life.
I started to try to recall all the times I have felt God's Love. Oh, not just the generic day to day things, I think most of us see that as a gift to anyone, no matter the faith, but the ones that shook me to the core, that caused me to not doubt and to feel it. I know those because with depression it is harder to feel the Spirit, I have to work harder to break down my barrier to notice those moments.
So here is a recollection of some of those times in my life, that strengthened my testimony of God's Love for me and the truthfullness of the gospel and this church.

1. I remember singing primary songs with my best friends as a little girl. There was something special and affirming in my mind as I shared something I loved to others I cared for. I did not realize I was doing missionary work at the time, I just knew it felt good, and they seemed to feel it too.

2. I remember sitting in the overflow area of the chapel one day, before sacrament meeting as a young teenager. This was before the block schedule we now know, but our ward was testing a schedule that did have the meetings on the same day, but still split apart. I was reading in The Book of Mormon, I don't know where exactly, but I can define that moment as the moment that I actually knew that this book, was true, that it contained the Word of God. I wanted to cherish that moment forever.

3. I remembered sitting in an Institute Class at Weber State College, and the instructor, a Brother Ludwall, taught the most powerfull lesson I have ever heard on Prayer. I have never forgotten it, but it opened up to me that communication with my Father in Heaven can be one on one, and individual, and oh, so mighty.

4. I remembered praying one night, after the young man I had dated told me he would not be seeing me any more. I was discouraged, but I needed an answer so I could make a decision in my life. I was nearing 21, just a few month shy, and if I was to serve a mission I would forgo attending a student ward but I would work more hours and save to serve God. What surprised me was the very firm and strong answer, that I was not to serve that mission. I will never forget the firm, and gentle voice as I asked two more times to verify the answer. I obeyed, and did not go.

5. I remembered a few months after that, praying once more to know if I was doing something wrong. If I was offending God for my feelings for a certain young man in my ward. What I got instead was the most humbling answer that all was well and I just needed to be patient.

6. I remembered my husband and I searching diligently for some death records of my ancestors in Minnesota. When we found them with only a few minutes of our day left, the tears that rolled down my face.

7. Later, as I prepared to do temple work for another ancestor, I felt her by my side as I left to go to the temple, then as I went through the session, and for at least 2 hours later, she was beside me during the day. How can I deny that she wanted her work done, and she was grateful for our efforts in her behalf.

8. I remembered a time when my depression was so bad after Collin was born, I was at rock bottom. Michael gave me a blessing that day, and the words spoken could only be from God. My husband had no clue what was going on in my head, but Heavenly Father did, and I heard exactly what I needed to hear. I listened and I obeyed.

9. I remembered, sitting at work, near midnight putting charts together for the next days work. I read a notation concerning a patient that did not have long to live, weeks at best. I was prompted to give the man a copy of The Book of Mormon. I obeyed. I never saw him again. He started to read it that night, and asked for the missionaries. His family refused them to visit him. Somehow I know that book was not for him, but another who may touch it someday.

10. I remembered playing my clarinet in church, and knowing that by doing so I was lifting the spirits and souls of others. It strengthened my own testimony, knowing that God can speak through so many venues.

11. I remembered a time driving home from work, and the sunrise was so beautiful I wanted to cry. I remembered praying as I drove for that blessing. God, gave it to me that day, because shortly after, somethings happened that changed my views on life and myself forever. No matter what else, I know God loves me despite my failings and short comings.

I know I could go on, but all of these experiences have shaped my testimony of God's Love for me. I never want to loose that gift, it is so precious and tender. Thank you Elder Bednar for your talk on the Tender Mercies of the Lord, from that day on, I have tried to find those moments where God's love is shown to me. They are gifts to not me shunned or forgotten.

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