Welcome to Tigersue's Jungle. Here you may find a Jungle of thoughts and idea's. You may never know what you will find!
Yes, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! I am a wife, a mother, a sister, and a friend.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Woman to Woman: Learning to say no

A lot of women feel like they have to "do it all", regardless of what may be realistic for them. Do you fall into this category? Can you just not resist the urge to be involved in everything? Or have you learned to say no? Have you taken a step backward and seen positive results? Share your frustrations or share your advice... Tell us what you think about the current trend to be all things to all people.

Saying no, is not an easy thing to do. I have learned to say no, and perhaps I say no too much.
I worked graveyards for so many years without a full sleep between each shift that my energy levels plumented quickly. I learned that because of my health issues I did not have the hormonal balance to deal with stress very well. I have had to say no for my family if not for myself.

It started with needing to say no to extra work shifts. Every time I did, I felt like I was not a team player, that I was horrible to not fill in a need at work. When you work a 12 hours shift and go straight home to take care of children, and not sleep until that night, and be back to work the night after that, you learn that a body can not survive on 8 hours of restless sleep every 48 hours.
I learned that I cannot do everything.
So I don't sign up for PTA, I am not a room mother, I don't do much for my daughter in swim team.
Sadly I am also learning that the longer I go without some responsibility I don't want it. I need it, but I don't want it. I have yet to learn the balance to keep doing things outside of my role of mother and housewife. It is easy for me to hide in my house and not show my face to the sun.
I often worry about what that ultimately says about me in the long term.

That is my problem, I worry too much. Saying No is not the problem, saying no to myself on the other hand is.

I need to say no to my inadequate use of time, playing computer games, when I could be doing more useful things. I need to say no to that impulse buy of a book that sounds interesting but I really don't need.

I do need to say yes, to playing with my children, spending time with my husband, and accepting with out complaint callings for my participation in church. I need to say yes, to spending more time with my needlework, improving my writing, and increasing my mental capacity.

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