Welcome to Tigersue's Jungle. Here you may find a Jungle of thoughts and idea's. You may never know what you will find!
Yes, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! I am a wife, a mother, a sister, and a friend.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Woman To Woman: Enduring Health Problems

I was not sure if I was going to do a post today. I have talked a great deal about my struggles with infertility and how I learned from it. I have talked about this journey with PPD and how I try to not let it control my life, while it does control my life.
Frankly, I have been in a bit of a slump the past couple of weeks or more. I do not like being depressed and anxious, but it is there. I have to deal with it everyday. At the same time, I can not let it control how I treat my family, it interferes much too often as it is.
Truthfully, I often feel guilty being depressed and when I read a post like this, I feel even more guilty. After all I do not have a child with a major debilitating disease. I have healthy, beautiful, and I hope happy children. They have their struggles, but I know Lisa would give anything to have the struggles I face on a daily basis if she could have her Ethan healthy and whole.
So This post can not be about me today, as much as I want it to be about me. It is a hug to those women that have much more to deal with in life. Things that I can not even begin to imagine.

I have worked with Babies in the NICU, I have seen parents weep and cry in fear, in guilt, and even joy when their child makes progress. I have worried when I would send a child home, wondering what kind of life they were going to have. How many would be abused, physically, mentally, sexually? How many would live a normal life, with out complications, becoming parents, and living live to the fullest extent.

How many mothers and fathers would end up raising their children alone, either through divorce, abandonment, or death?

How can I possibly complain for the gifts and blessings I have when I see suffering in the world. My problems seem so small in the grand scheme of things that for a moment, for what ever duration, my thoughts were for someone else and their time of need.

So back to myself, that is the hardest part of depression, it keeps me from focusing on the needs of others. I become a selfish being, not selfless. Some how I have to change that.

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